I’m not what you would describe as a type A person, so control hasn’t been a struggle in my life.
Or so I thought until recently . .
I’m not a structured person, although I am tempted by pretty planners &
I’m also not spontaneous, though an unplanned getaway sounds dreamy!
I prefer rhythm & predictability or admiringly known as “disguised control” .
Last week this adorable 8month old yanked control out from beneath me & flat out punched predictability in the face!
Harbor’s sleep has been erratic meaning
our rhythm has been non existent!
The days of unpredictability led to unproductive days followed by an avalanche of self centered criticism & condemnation.
As I begrudgingly sat in stillness, attempting yet again to induce Harbor into a nap, the Father spoke :
“I see you. You’re not alone.”
& the dam broke as the Father flooded my soul with truth;
Truth that noticeably slid out of focus as I fixed my eyes on my circumstances.
➕ Truth that He is faithful.
➕ Truth that He has carried me through difficulty & uncertainty.
➕Truth that although I’m sleep deprived,
I’m abundantly thankful our sweet boy is home & not lying in a bed in the NICU.
➕ Truth that although Harbor seems increasingly needy, my heart explodes with gratitude, recalling that endless week my empty arms ached to hold him!
➕ Truth that although Harbor is struggling with sleep, it’s because he’s growing mentally & physically.
➕ Truth that I am loved as my husband graciously holds Harbor for hours during the night so that I can sleep.
➕ Truth that these moments of childhood are more precious than predictability.
Moments which are painfully evident as our oldest talks about life & the future & my heart aches because the bittersweet truth is that these days of childhood are fleeting.
So as the tears of selfishness flush out of my soul, tears of gratitude began streaming down my face.
I hold Harbor close & whisper “thank you”.
Thank you for the gift of beauty, grace & Truth especially on unpredictable days.
_____________________________________
For more grace filled encouragement like this, follow along on my FB page :
Harbor’s sleep has been erratic meaning
our rhythm has been non existent!
The days of unpredictability led to unproductive days followed by an avalanche of self centered criticism & condemnation.
As I begrudgingly sat in stillness, attempting yet again to induce Harbor into a nap, the Father spoke :
“I see you. You’re not alone.”
& the dam broke as the Father flooded my soul with truth;
Truth that noticeably slid out of focus as I fixed my eyes on my circumstances.
➕ Truth that He is faithful.
➕ Truth that He has carried me through difficulty & uncertainty.
➕Truth that although I’m sleep deprived,
I’m abundantly thankful our sweet boy is home & not lying in a bed in the NICU.
➕ Truth that although Harbor seems increasingly needy, my heart explodes with gratitude, recalling that endless week my empty arms ached to hold him!
➕ Truth that although Harbor is struggling with sleep, it’s because he’s growing mentally & physically.
➕ Truth that I am loved as my husband graciously holds Harbor for hours during the night so that I can sleep.
➕ Truth that these moments of childhood are more precious than predictability.
Moments which are painfully evident as our oldest talks about life & the future & my heart aches because the bittersweet truth is that these days of childhood are fleeting.
So as the tears of selfishness flush out of my soul, tears of gratitude began streaming down my face.
I hold Harbor close & whisper “thank you”.
Thank you for the gift of beauty, grace & Truth especially on unpredictable days.
_____________________________________
For more grace filled encouragement like this, follow along on my FB page :
No comments:
Post a Comment