Wednesday, January 25, 2012

{a introspective look}

December was lovely, absolutely lovely! We soaked in our family's first Christmas with a sweet little girl!! . Celebrating the joy of the season surrounded by children deeply warms my heart!
January is almost over and I sit here, pondering, and while I type, I wait for the Spirit to reveal the truth.

A few days after Christmas, our fourth son turned five years old. He wanted to go bowling; we had such a great time! Sweet Pea behaved wonderfully, the boys ate pizza, I won a game, and I don't have a single picture of this special day. This makes me sad!  
January comes along, and we celebrate our firstborn son's birthday. Currently he asks me almost every year to make him a treasure hunt, so that he can search for his gifts. I hide clues in some great places; brothers don't hesitate to help him out.
 I don't have a single picture of the moment.

I know someday I'll forget the details of these days, which is why I treasure how a photo captures that moment in time. 
When it comes to capturing the moments with photos, I feel like I fail miserably.
As I struggle with these feelings, I hear a quiet truth...

                                     "you're their mom. appointed for them. be present"
In spite of the lack, I'm still a work in progress; the Father is continually transforming me into the mom He's destined me to be. Yes I fail. I'll keep trying with Him guiding my steps.

I've been thinking about some of my dear friends, you know, those friends that "have it all together".

                                       the friend who bakes from scratch and has a herb garden.

                                  the friend who is an amazing, devoted home school teacher/ mom.

                                    the friend who is in great shape and has the perfect figure.

                                                  the friend who has a spotlessly clean home.
                                                    the organized, crafty / blogger mom.

               all these moms seem to have time for everything that I endlessly struggle to make time for.

That's when the Spirit whispers again, "stop listening to the Lie". 
That sneaky Lie which starts off cloaked with good intention, disguised as innocent motivation, then wearily loads heaps of condemnation.
See all this time that I'm looking at my good intentions along with my shortcoming, I'm forgetting who I am in Christ. My focus has completely shifted from abiding in Him, which is where I experience true joy, contentment, peace and resting in Him.

"Instead of looking at your circumstances, your inadequacies, your shortcomings, turn away from them and keep your eyes on Jesus! 

Like this verse clearly says, when my focus in completely on Him, I'm transformed into His likeness!
 "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as the Spirit of the Lord." ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18
                             Let's look at JESUS and be Christ occupied, instead of self occupied.


oneilfamily said...

Love it...I have a half written blog post similar to this that I just did the other day...I feel the same way! I love "this beautiful mess" also. I think you should rename your blog...! Love It! I understand and I am in the same boat! Sometimes it is nice to know others are there with you because on the outside it seems like many do have it all together! Its nice to know you are not alone. Thanks for writing this!

Briana Pitt said...

what a beautiful mess of a mom you are! I have often felt the same way, believed the same lies, and spiraled ever so quickly. You definitely aren't alone. Your honesty is refreshing. You are an amazing mom....and i can guarantee you that the "in-shape" mom or the "herb garden" mom, doesn't throw stellar birthday parties like you or have the eye for beauty that you do. Your kids will always, always remember the special things that you do for them, whether they've been documented in a photograph or not. memories last forever!

Anonymous said...

wow elizabeth - i love this post!! i appreciate your honesty and your sharing!! i truly believe 9 outta 10 moms feel exactly this same way!!
dig your toes into the very foundation of god and go for it! be just and only who he created you to be - and it sounds to me like you are doing that pretty darn well!! embrace this beautiful mess - own it - it is what he has blessed you with! <3 heidi (etsy):)