sneak peek

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Just a few quick note to post today . . .

The past few months I've been working on a few things and I'll be sharing all the details soon!
This is just a little sneak peek though!

STAY TUNED! 

Truth on Unpredictable Days

I’m not what you would describe as a type A person, so control hasn’t been a struggle in my life. 
Or so I thought until recently . .
I’m not a structured person, although I am tempted by pretty planners &
I’m also not spontaneous, though an unplanned getaway sounds dreamy!

I prefer rhythm & predictability or admiringly known as “disguised control” .

Last week this adorable 8month old yanked control out from beneath me & flat out punched predictability in the face!
Harbor’s sleep has been erratic meaning
our rhythm has been non existent!
The days of unpredictability led to unproductive days followed by an avalanche of self centered criticism & condemnation. 

As I begrudgingly sat in stillness, attempting yet again to induce Harbor into a nap, the Father spoke :
“I see you. You’re not alone.”
& the dam broke as the Father flooded my soul with truth;
Truth that noticeably slid out of focus as I fixed my eyes on my circumstances.
➕ Truth that He is faithful. 

➕ Truth that He has carried me through difficulty & uncertainty. 

➕Truth that although I’m sleep deprived,
I’m abundantly thankful our sweet boy is home & not lying in a bed in the NICU. 

➕ Truth that although Harbor seems increasingly needy, my heart explodes with gratitude, recalling that endless week my empty arms ached to hold him!

➕ Truth that although Harbor is struggling with sleep, it’s because he’s growing mentally & physically. 

➕ Truth that I am loved as my husband graciously holds Harbor for hours during the night so that I can sleep. 

➕ Truth that these moments of childhood are more precious than predictability.
Moments which are painfully evident as our oldest talks about life & the future & my heart aches because the bittersweet truth is that these days of childhood are fleeting. 

So as the tears of selfishness flush out of my soul, tears of gratitude began streaming down my face. 
I hold Harbor close & whisper “thank you”.
Thank you for the gift of beauty, grace & Truth especially on unpredictable days. 
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For more grace filled encouragement like this, follow along on my FB page :  

 

Christmas reflections for a New Year

   

                          Last Christmas season life felt a bit slower. Each day planned and purposeful,

whether it was a day full of baking or a leisurely late night drive.

This year however, I found myself longing to replicate those moments;

 Christmas shopping dates with my hubby, warm drink in my hand, and pressure far from me.

Yet, that didn't happen.

At least I thought it didn't. Honestly, it just didn't look exactly like last year. 

As comparison nagged at my emotions, I struggled to feel that this Christmas somehow was lacking...

didn't measure up.

 Didn't feel like it should, which obviously meant something was wrong.

In the silence, the Father began to reveal that I honestly was longing for an experience. Last years experience

The past. Familiarity. 

The same longing that crowds of multitudes and even His own followers looked for, 

miracles to be duplicated.

In all honesty, Nothing, absolutely nothing was wrong with this Christmas!

What a silly stupid lie!

 A scheme of the enemy to minimize the current beauty of the Father's workings in our life!

The plans we had this year were the plans for this year.

Finishing up our kitchen remodel; chauffeuring teens here and there; 

Opening our home to family and friends that He led to our doorstep.

Date nights on the town exchanged with late night, side by side, online shopping.

In the same way, many missed the Messiah's birth because they misunderstood, 

awaiting for their King to come in the manner their minds accepted.

 I don't want to miss His heartbeat because it looked different last year.

I never want to miss the beauty while longing for the familiar.

 Personally, I prefer simplicity, but I never want to idealize or idolize what Christmas should look like.

 I continually want to walk in step with His movement, day by day. Mindful of what He lays before me.

 Not distracted from what's in front of me, by looking at what was behind.

 

"this day"

The sycamore trees are shedding their leaves and the maple trees are dressed in vibrant color.
It's technically fall here in the south, though unseasonably warm days beg to differ.

I certainly am.not.complaining!

Thanksgiving is in less than a week and my heart is abundantly full.

I'm soaking in the striking beauty of colorful weekend strolls, and the everyday comforts of days
shared with the ones I love dearly.

Currently, the kids and I spend as much time outdoors as we can, but when the evening cools,
I enjoy snuggling beneath a cozy blanket with a good book.

I haven't always had the time to enjoy this leisure, however during this season of feeding the souls of my children through excellent literature, the desire to feed my soul alongside them grows as well.

Currently I'm reading through this, this or this book
 this, and this book are on my amazon wish list.

Fall decor is beautifully simple using outdoor elements;
 tree stumps, collected pine cones and branches,

  While fall is the season of layered clothing, warm drinks, and the external beauty on our doorstep,
 my heart is warmed by the beauty of motherhood and friendship.

My husband, our children, are a gift. This day is a gift.

Being mom and wife to these beautiful people in my life, at times can feel overwhelming.

I stagger under the weight of all I feel demands my utmost importance, a weight I'm not meant to carry.

 I can work to the point of exhaustion and still feel lacking. There will always be more....

But when I choose to lay all those expectations, internal and external, at His feet, 

my heart realigns to His plan, for this day.

Beautifully extraordinary

  Do you ever look through old photo's and instantly are drawn back, sifting through a rush of emotions?

This happens quite often for me. 

Pictures of the past have a way of drawing me back in time, but with an ability of perspective from today.

 I recall the days with these five Guys; those muddy days that felt insignificant.

 Those days I felt life was overwhelming and could barely trudge through the trenches. Beautiful.

 

Those days I felt I barely survived while other were thriving. Beautiful.

                 Those days the dishes piled high and toys were strewn throughout my home. Beautiful.

Those times I hadn't showered in days, and the kids dinner consisted of frozen chicken nuggets... 

Beautiful. Completely Beautiful!

 My insignificant daily, my mundane, my ordinary

The Father redeems what I deem insignificant into lovely, memorable, extraordinary.

 

" The true way to live is to enjoy every moment as it passes and surely it is in the everyday

things around us that the beauty of life lies."

-Laura Ingalls Wilder 

I wish I could honestly say that in the midst of those tough days, I had the eyes to see beauty hidden in the mess. 

The beautiful redemption rests in the truth that the God who turned water into wine,

can take my meager and insignificant, and weave it into a beautiful tapestry for His purpose.

"I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light, so that you can understand the hope

 to which He has called you {Eph. 1:18}

Truth for my Child

Our first official week of the 2016/17 school year is almost complete.
This week we gently eased back into school mode.
 I held a loose idea of what our days would look like, and we certainly had struggles,
but the Father planned for something lovely.

Earlier this week, I lay tossing and turning, not over curriculum, but with a strong stirring upon my heart.

 A stirring of what truly matters most in our day to day.

 
My heart begin to well up with the enormity of the daily opportunity I've been given as a mom
to speak life over my children. To declare the truth to them.

Truth that they might often not believe. 

Truth that they the world has lied to them about.

Truth of who they are; not based on actions, but a child their Father has redeemed them as.

I awoke the next morning, penning words from the Father;

You are righteous, not b/c of actions, but simply b/c you believe.

You are my child; my son, my daughter.

You are royalty and have the complete inheritance as my child.

You can never disinherit all that I've given you. You are not in lack.

I have provided and will continually, abundantly provide more than you can imagine!

You are unconditionally loved, no matter what you do, or how much you mess up.

You are NOT a disappointment.

My arms are continually open toward you.

When you feel distance, turn around, you'll see Me. I am never far from you.

I will never leave, never turn aside.

I am always perusing you, always longing for you. 

I am your Shepherd.

When you fall, when you're wounded and cannot walk,

I will carry you close to my heart, so you hear my heartbeat toward you.

Your falling does not anger me; You are pleasing! 

Not b/c of how you act, how you look, or what you say.

You are mine and I delight in you!

When I look at you, I see a clean and spotless child b/c of the priceless blood which paid for your righteousness.

I love you when you are unlovable. 

I am your Father, standing with open arms, welcoming you my child.

I've prepared a wondrous feast, I've put the finest clothes on your back.

All of my kingdom is yours, simply b/c you.are.mine." 

the Gift of Children

I am absolutely, abundantly in love with this lovely little family of mine!
Having a large family is truly a fulfillment of one of my heart's desires, one that I didn't even realize I had until I was blessed with this priceless gift.

This past week, our oldest two boys were away at youth camp.
 This is the second time they've been away in two months, and boy, I've missed them more than imaginable!

Yes, my home was still full of laughter and noise; yes I still have four other children keeping me busy...

But when the house gets quiet, and I walk by their bedroom door each night,
I don't hear their loud music, their voices, their laughter over teenage antics.

While my boys have been away, I find myself reflecting on the fullness, the completeness each child brings;
The children who make our house a home.

  Daily, I'm amazed at the individuality of each child and how one can be so entirely different than their siblings within the same family.
One is quiet and contemplative, serious and task oriented;
One is constantly talking, sharing what's on his mind;
One is silly, trying to make everyone laugh.

Within a family you're accepted regardless of the personality differences you share.

The passions you have, the irritations.

We daily get to live the lovely and the hard, messy frustrations together, confident that love covers it all.

Getting to live this life with each of them, each of their personality types, each of their strengths,
each of their hindrances, is truly a gift! An indescribable gift.

I treasure each and every single day I wake to live this life with my family.

Why I photograph my "perfect life"

First off, I do NOT have a perfect life! Quite honestly, some days are messy hard!

I wake up before the herd, the house is still quiet; sip my coffee, which the best husband made.

 One by one, sleepy kids stroll downstairs sweetly, then it's all downhill from there.

Sister doesn't want eggs, almost a half gallon of milk spilled, "brother is sitting too close to me"

A headache strikes and you want to go back to bed for the entire day! 

but the day must go on. 

After the breakfast mess is clear, and husband out the door, I long for the lovely, the best things.
  Little Brother wants to read, so we head to his favorite spot.
As he arranges his buddies, smiles his dimpled grin, he snuggles close.
 This time nourishes my heart.  I quickly capture it with a photo. 

As I listen to him read, I breathe deep; all five of my boys have accomplished this childhood milestone.
I recall to mind the hard days of four boys ages five and under, three in diapers. The days I just survived. 

Those days have transitioned into an overflowing home full of books, lego's, and loud drum sets {plural}

During those "routine days" of life when my guys were little, I photographed what felt like the mundane.
Silly boys just being silly!
 Those photographs are treasures to my heart today!
Treasures of encouragement; reminders of lovely days; even the loveliness that I overlooked.
Looking at those photographs today, my heart is bursting!
Bursting with the gratefulness for the reminders of my beautiful, abundantly blessed life!

Some days are tough, I mean tooth and nail tough.
A photograph captures beauty, even in the midst of chaos.
 I never want to overlook the beautiful surrounding me, each and every day!
Often times that beauty is in the midst of a beautiful mess.

"Through it All"

These lyrics; this song; echo my heart's cry today. 

 One month ago,  May 29th, another of our precious unborn children dances in Heaven. 

 

My second miscarriage has been painful at the loss of our Little One.

Yet, these six years later, The Father continues to carry me, comfort me, and surround my ache with his abundant love.

He is steadfast, true to His loving nature.

Yet I walk in the truth of His nature deeper now than ever before. 

When the enemy lies and steals,

The Father abundantly multiplies, illuminates truth, and renews my mind.

 "Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you 

 Through it all, through it all, it is well

Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you

 And it is well with me.

                    Let go my soul, and trust in Him; the waves and wind still know His name.

It is well, It is well, It is well with my soul "

{homeschool foundations} character training

"The first task of education is a moral one" ~ Charlotte Mason

 

Choosing to educate our children at home involves a great deal of character training.
 It seems like the majority of life is character training, which often times looks like an interruption. 

ie: Little Sister draws on older brother's book, one brother accidentally breaks another brothers lego,
teen Brother can't concentrate on math because three other siblings are playing loudly, etc, etc, etc. 

Interruptions are a never ceasing, every day part of life.

    

 

Handling these interruptions with grace is an area where I daily need wisdom and patience. 

Character training truly is a day by day, hour by hour endless education.
Years into this homeschoool journey, the Father gently reveals; "this is the heartbeat of home education."
 

There is truly such overwhelming beauty in spending the days together as a family. This beauty is completely intertwined with interruptions, irritations and beautiful opportunities to teach our children's hearts;
not just minds.

A decade into this journey, if I could go back and tell the homeschooling mom I was then, it would be: "prioritize training their hearts, instilling character, and habits before even thinking about academics."

 

One of my yearly read's is, "For the Children's Sake" by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay.

This book encourages my heart, and fans the flame of whole heart education. 

Her educational methods have transformed my outlook of this sacred gift of motherhood and educator.

 I highly encourage every homeschooling mom to read it!

Grace and Peace to you!

abide

{"I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the truth" ~ 3 John 1:4}

 
God created my children for His  purposes.
They are distinctly created with gifts and passions. Passions that often times I misjudge as character flaws.
Of course, there certainly are habits like thinking of others, cultivating thoughtfulness, etc.. that I try to be intentional with.

My deep heart's desire is to lead them to the source of truth.
To abide in constant relationship with The Father; to hear his heartbeat, His voice, His Spirit.

 One of my greatest desires is for my kids to know that I'm on their side, that I'm for them!
 When I look deeply in their eyes, greet them happily in the morning, make big deals over the things that are a big deal to them, actively listen, cheer them on, truly try to see life through their eyes


... all these desires that I'm pouring out on them, are but a snippet of the true nature of the Father's heart toward them. 

Yes, those desires to train them and guide them will still be there...but they aren't guiding my days.
When I see character flaws, they aren't overwhelming my spirit. They aren't burdens on my back.
When my mind is reminded of this, I abide in rest. My soul is at rest.
My eyes see the beauty. My heart embraces their passions. I rest because they're in the Fathers hands.

  He loves them so so abundantly!! He is for them!! He longs to lead them into all truth!

advent + hope

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

  Crisp air, the glow of candle lights, beautiful music, family, traditions, and memorable time together.

  More than tangible sights and sounds, Christmas is glorious because there is hope!

{"and this hope does not lead to disappointment for we know how dearly God loves us because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love" ~ Romans 5:5}

 "You have formed us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in You" ~ Augustine

 

   Our hearts are full of overwhemling pleasure and friendship with our Father. God with Us to dwell!