this post is a bit late, nonetheless, it is the most personal post to date. if you have a bit of time, stay a while. grab a cup of coffee and a pastry...this may take a bit.
last week i was fully anticipating a quiet, relaxed Father's Day weekend. it proved to be different.
for the last two months, my husband has been having a pounding heart beat coupled with chest pain and episodes of faintness and nausea.
he went to a cardiologist, had an EKG, echo cardiogram, stress test, blood work; they all came back normal.
nothing serious, right. maybe it's stress or adrenal fatigue.
he went to a nutritionist; she said he needed to detox. done. the symptoms didn't go away.
last week, they got worse. Friday he went to a primary care doctor who ordered a chest x-ray. oh yeah. the cardiologist *never* ordered that test. sigh. it revealed a 'density' on his L lung. a *density*. okay. what does a 'density' mean? is this a mass of some sort? what?!
not a great way to start your Father's Day weekend! we prayed. we cried.A LOT!
i wrestled with fears that i was loosing my best friend. fear that my children, especially Sweet Pea, would only have these images to hold dear. we survived the weekend, with a CT scan on Monday, hoping this would better explain this 'density'.
we didn't hear anything until Wednesday. the diagnosis ~ Partial Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return.
long name. the short of it; a congenital heart defect. one of the four pulmonary veins that is supposed to return into his heart, drains into his venous system instead. this blood flow pattern causes excessive blood to be directed toward his R heart and lung,
today he sees a congenital heart specialist at Vanderbilt. we don't know what's next. i do know:
"Blessed is he who has regard for the weak, the Lord delivers him in times of trouble. The Lord will protect him & preserve his life. He will bless him in the land & not surrender him to the desire of his foes. The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed & restore him from his bed of illness."
"He will not leave us orphaned; He will come to us. He will deliver us in times of trouble. "
we wait. we wait for HIM.
this has been a hard week, but i have felt the Father right along side me. holding me up. sustaining me.
this Father's Day, and this this week...i'm treasuring my best friend, my children's Father even more than i thought was possible.
at the same time...i'm trusting my FATHER to deliver him. to heal him.
Father's truly are a strong hold. a pillar. strength to their wives and children.
within them is a precious gift. the unconditional love of a Father. of a husband. a beautiful mirror of our Heavenly Father and the great joy He has in His children.